Hi! Hello! Are you feeling the itch and burn of Spring where you live, or are you a fairy unicorn unaffected by the air around you? Never mind, I don’t want to know.
I am DONE with my first semester of Grown Up School (my kids are dubious about that whole idea since I never go anywhere) and we are about to enter our last month of Kid School for the year. April rounds off our rapid-fire Spring birthdays, and when people ask our kids’ ages I can give them the nice tidy answer, “Three, five, and seven.” At least until September, when the middle man has the nerve to turn six and mess it all up for another six months.
Do you have glamorous plans for the summer? I have made a list of all the home projects I hope to get done. I also hope to actually train the dog instead of just saying her name over and over until we’re both over excited. Is this what grown up summer is? Oh yay, more time to train the dog and paint the baseboard! Alas, here we are, and I like it.
Welcome to The Paradox Paper, a monthly newsletter that honors paradox in the every day. If a friend forwarded you this email, click here to subscribe:
In this edition:
A mystery that made me laugh and shiver
My favorite author to read before sleep
A podcast for curious grownups Curiously Kaitlyn
A system for teaching kids chores and money management that doesn’t make me want to take to the bed
Reflective questions from a seminary course
A prayer from a song I can’t get out of my head
Listen For The Lie, Amy Tintera
Lucy is found wandering around covered in blood the morning after her best friend Savvy is murdered. And she can’t remember anything that happened the night before. Speculation builds and rumors fly until Lucy eventually has to move away from her small town Texas life. She’s doing okay (except for the murderous voice she hears inside her head) until Ben—the host of a wildly popular true crime podcast—decides to investigate Savvy’s murder. This story managed to make me laugh out loud without sacrificing any suspense. It is especially enthralling in audio form, as you bounce back and forth between story and podcast episodes.
A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
I’ve talked about Bill before. He writes the kind of book that makes you turn to the person next to you every five minutes and say, “Did you know?” or “Listen to this!” And he somehow does it with such warmth and good humor that you feel like you’re having a porch chat with an exceptionally intelligent grandpa instead of reading a text book. This book is proving to be just as cheerfully fascinating as The Body and At Home were. Bill’s your boy for bedtime reading that will magically hold your attention and lull you to sleep at the same time.
Curiously Kaitlyn
I don’t know Kaitlyn and she doesn’t know me, but I have genuinely enjoyed this podcast. In her own words, this is a show that combines the wisdom of children’s questions and grownup scholarship to “make theology make sense.” It’s interesting, funny, and I can’t wait to hear more episodes. Here’s the trailer!
Daily Sheets
I am not Organization Mom. But parenting has taught me that organization is necessary. Which means that when I need a system, I have to go out and borrow it from someone else. But most of the people putting organization content out into the world are—surprise to no one—organized people. If the system they’re hocking involves multiple steps or products I’m just not gonna do it. I know myself. If the system to help me be organized requires natural organization to make it work, it’s over. Not happening. Which is why my kids don’t do regular chores, and we don’t give them any kind of regular allowance. It’s just been too hard to figure out. Until recently, that is. We have been doing the Daily Sheets system that Kendra (The Lazy Genius) talks about in this episode on kid chores for ten days now, and it has worked beautifully. And it started working right away! They are excited to do their jobs, they get them done quickly with minimal complaining, the house is staying more tidy, and I’m able to teach them new tasks without feeling overwhelmed. Lots of things claim to be parenting game-changers and very few actually change the game. Daily Sheets is one of those for us.
As of today, I am done with my first semester of seminary. What a gift it’s been so far. My favorite course this semester was on Christian Leadership. I came to the course with my idea of leadership having been formed by sweet people with strengths I don’t have, and mean people with weaknesses I don’t want. I assumed I wasn’t a leader, because I don’t have the same gifts as The Good Ones. I assumed I didn’t want to be a leader because I don’t want to treat people like The Bad Ones have treated me.
Yet regardless of my assumptions, I continue to find myself (if mostly by accident) in positions that require leadership by default—counseling, student ministry, parenthood, etc. I signed up for the course with an “Okay, fine,” attitude. I’m already here, so I might as well try to do a good job. Shrug.
Now standing at the finish line, to say I am grateful is an understatement. The Spirit used these months and these materials to reveal my false and malformed ideas of leadership, and replace them with ones shaped by Christ. As I baby-step my way into this understanding, I'm acutely aware of my own skittishness. By the kindness of God I will not bolt back into the bushes. I come away with several reflective questions that I hope will guide and steady me on my wobbly way. Maybe they’ll be a help to you too.
What am I doing to soothe myself in the short term that is undermining my health in the long term? This question acts as a guardrail that keeps me engaged in the present moment, even when it’s difficult. It invites me to notice and name my anxiety rather than numbing it with entertainment or non-urgent work.
What do I want to have me? Our consumerist culture is not just about what we could have, it's about what could have us. This question invites me to align my fun—what I read, watch, listen to, and purchase for myself—with the abundant life of Jesus.
What is mine to do that I am wishing someone else will take care of? This question is redirecting my instinct to abdicate power and responsibility to people I see as older, stronger, or wiser. The good work that God has prepared for me is mine to do, and this question helps ensure I don’t miss out on it.
What am I trying not to pray about? Where I find in my heart an unwillingness to pray, there is an unwillingness to act. This question invites me to confess my anxiety or anger to the Lord, and allow Him to change me for His glory and my joy.
Where can I step toward conflict? This question invites me to practice working out my confrontation muscles. As I’ve been more obedient in the low-risk moments—disciplining the kids after the first warning instead of waiting until the seventh, say—I have noticed a difference in myself in the high-risk moments.
In lieu of a prayer, I hope you’ll enjoy this song as much as I have.
“In Your wounds I find room for all of mine /
When from grace I fell, Christ is lower still.”
It is a true joy to write for you each month, and I always love to hear about anything you tried and loved or anything that stirred your heart. Simply reply to this email or leave a comment to let me know.
Until next time, hold the paradox, don’t panic. Love you.
-Steph
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