The Paradox Paper #36

Surprise! We have a dog. Her name is Nola. She’s sweet, and annoying, like the rest of us.

At this present moment I’m annoyed because today she has—hold onto your hats folks—barked a lot. We’re working on it. My neighbors said, “Whatever, that’s what dogs do,” but I’ve noticed they keep telling their son to shower and wear deodorant even though he’s twelve and being stanky is what twelve year old boys do, so can they really be trusted? Either way, I’m too naive to give up yet. Pray for me.

Illogical barking and goofy haircut aside, we like her. The two olders have often said they are SO glad they have a dog of their VERY OWN. The youngest has expressed his gratitude by being the only child in the house with any sort of authoritative sway over Nola. He hasn’t even tried to learn her name. Just “Stop, dog! Come, dog! No, dog! Fetch, dog!” And daggummit, she does.

Welcome to The Paradox Paper, a monthly newsletter that honors the everyday paradox of a life with Jesus. If a friend forwarded you this email, click here to subscribe:

In this edition:

• My favorite way to be in Scripture when reading is too hard

• A stand up comic that has helped me better understand my friends on the Autism spectrum

• A new album from a favorite singer/songwriter

• A few words on growth

• A prayer for changing seasons

The Dwell App
I enjoy reading, but my eyes aren’t fast and my life is full. Sometimes I want Scripture in my ears while my hands are busy. I have tried the free audio situation in the YouVersion app. I. Have. Tried. But it is terrible. Just the dryest, cheesiest, preachiest voice. So many weird pauses! Dwell, on the other hand, has a wide range of translations (Spanish too) read by engaging narrators. Some are even professional actors, like my personal favorite David Suchet. I would let that man read me the phone book if phone books still existed and we knew each other like that. The customization tools are great too, with a selection of background music and listening speeds. Well worth the $40/yr subscription for a quality audio Bible!

Hannah Gadsby’s Douglas Special
Look, if Hannah and I sat down together, would we be looking at the world through the same lens? Would our hope and purpose be anchored in the same things? Probably not. Anytime that’s true (which is most of the time) discernment is required. However, in this metaphorical sit down, I would thank her for how vulnerably she shares her experience of the world as an Autistic person. I’d tell her that it has increased my understanding of and compassion toward my friends living on the spectrum. But Hannah and I are unlikely to ever meet, so instead I’ll just tell you. This stand up special is smart and creative and FUNNY.

A few favorite bits:
The way she “sets your expectations” for the show by telling you EXACTLY how she’s structured it. Has anyone ever told Hannah that part of what makes us laugh is the surprise? Apparently not, but who cares, because she’s skilled enough in her craft to get a laugh even when we know what’s coming. I wish I could write like that!

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pufferfish moment 😂

The first “DECISION” moment of the renaissance art bit 🤣 🤣

Manna, Pt. 1 by Chris Renzema
I am the first to acknowledge that I am not a music buff. I am slow to listen to my favorite artists’ new music, and even slower to branch out. So take it with a grain of salt when I say I find Chris a rare mix of honesty and optimism. So many Christian singer/songwriters are one or the other. They can be honest about human suffering and struggle, or they can write joyfully of God’s goodness and hope. Chris does both, without being cheesy.

A few favorite lyrics:
From the track Hereditary:
“If grace is something you can misplace, what’s the point of it anyway?”

From the track Holy Ghost:
“Through crooked teeth the Gospel is preached, and maybe there’s hope for someone like me.”

From the track Manna:
“Even when I’ve lost my taste for manna, it comes from Heaven all the same.”

“I’ve just been having a lot of doubts.” His eyes misted and one corner of his mouth turned down. “I’m worried that I’m doing something wrong." Josh bravely articulated what every other teenager in my living room felt.

“I know the truth. I know the right thing to do. I know what my soul needs. But I’m still so full anxiety and exhaustion. And I know better!” The porch rockers creaked in the breeze. “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Jess’s voice narrowed to a whisper as emotion clogged her throat.

I keep having conversations with people—others and myself alike—who don’t know what to make of spiritual seasons. The wind shifts, the temperature cools, growth seems to stall or even reverse. And we freak out.

Spiritual spring is so glorious. The evidence of life and transformation is everywhere, the scent of hope heavy in the air. Summer is great too, so much sunshine and freedom we’re sure it’ll always be this way. But seasons change. Irrespective of our decisions or behavior, that’s what they do. And when they do, we tend to panic.

What have I done wrong? Is God mad at me? Why does this feel so much harder than before? Why am I drained by what used to excite me? Why does it feel like work when it used to be so refreshing?

We forget Spring accounts for 25% of the year at most. Flowers only bloom in the spring because they spend the rest of the year dying and being reborn underground and out of sight. The absence of visible results does not mean God is absent or angry. He just knows how and when to grow us. It’s a safe guess that 75% of the time, that growth happens in ways we can’t see or understand in the moment.

Flowers don’t waste their energy worrying that they aren’t growing fast enough. Whatever season they’re in, they just stay as close to the sun as possible. It is not ours to grow or change. Only to stay close to the One who will grow and change us.

Hold the paradox. Don’t panic. See you next month!

-Steph

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