Hidey ho there, happy Friday.
July up and happened to us, didn’t it? Just whambamthankyouma’am, and out. Summer is a quick little beast. The next time I write to you here my oldest child will have been in ACTUAL SCHOOL for two weeks. What is happening.
We better get to it before I start feeling too many feelings.
Welcome to The Paradox Paper, a monthly newsletter that honors paradox in the every day. If a friend forwarded you this email, click here to subscribe:
In this edition:
Two books I’ve enjoyed
One podcast I’m enthralled by
The pain of unshareable joy
A snippet about bodies
Links to the latest podcast episodes
A prayer to protect us from our gifts
Books
Evvie Drake Starts Over, Linda Holmes
This is a lovely story about the truth of relationships behind closed doors, the hard work of moving on, and how important it is to be ourselves. It’s also a romance that doesn’t lean too heavily on the miscommunication trope and doesn’t make either party the solution to the other’s problems. Fantastic summer read.
When Thoughts And Prayers Aren’t Enough, Taylor Schumann
This book talks about the grief of surviving tragedy better than most I’ve read. What happens when the world moves on and you have to keep living? A school shooting survivor, Taylor is honest about the present darkness even as she holds onto the future hope of glory. I hope you’ll read this beautifully written and important book.
Podcast
The Rise And Fall of Mars Hill
This podcast examines the history of Mars Hill church, the ministry of Mark Driscoll, and our dangerous habit of elevating giftedness over character. I think every American Christian who wants good things for and from the Church should listen. While the subject matter is handled gently, some of it may be triggering. If you’ve experienced abuse in church, you’ll want to listen in small bites.
I cut my hair short recently. I wear it in a poof on top of my head, my grays glinting in the sun. My parents visited earlier this month and it fell to me to pick them up from the airport.
I put John Mayer’s new album in the speakers and ran my fingers through my hair as I guided the car onto George Bush Turnpike. My youngest son slept peacefully in the backseat. My breath caught in my throat.
Ten years ago it would’ve been my brother mussing his hair on the turnpike, headed to get mom and dad. If he were here now we would collaborate about which restaurants to take them to. I’d ask him which of the new songs was his favorite. He’d laugh at Truitt, his namesake, because everyone does. He’d say something stupid about my haircut. Or something nice. He did that sometimes.
I’m so much more myself today that I was the last time I saw him. My life has so much joy. His does too now, I know. I wish we could share it all together.
A Snippet
I have the awkward privilege of being thin just by pure dumb genetics. This is a privilege because I don’t struggle to find clothing in the style and size that I need, and I fit into public spaces easily. This is awkward because for most of my life the culture has assumed that I 1) try hard to be thin and 2) feel confident and beautiful in my thin body at all times.
Neither of these is true. My metabolism is the way it is because of genetics, like I said. I wish I exercised regularly because I know that would make me feel stronger and have more energy, but I don’t. So it’s weird when someone compliments me for being thin. I don’t know what to say. Especially when the words are tinged with jealousy. “Ugh, you’re so cute and thin!” I’m sensing that the way my body naturally is makes you feel upset and even though it can’t possibly be my fault since I didn’t try to be this way, please forgive me?
It’s a weird part of life, made all the weirder when I had my third baby four months ago. I think we talk about each other’s bodies a little too freely in general, but wowie zowie it really gets out of hand around pregnancy and birth.
I don’t have a nice bow to put on this. I’m doing a lot of chewing on bodies (metaphorically, yikes) and beauty standards lately. I haven’t come to any solid conclusions or solutions on my own yet, but here are a few podcast episodes I’ve found helpful.
The Small Group Show
Here are the episodes that have come out since I was last in your inbox:
Ep. 12 - Rebuilding Faith with Kurtis Vanderpool
This is maybe my favorite episode we’ve done to date. Kurtis has so much wisdom and grace for folks who are asking hard faith questions.Ep. 13 - Aliens & Animals In Heaven
If you’re interested in listening to two people commiserate over an irrational fear of space, well then this is the episode for you.Ep. 14 - Christian Nationalism
What does it mean to be free, how does patriotism get tangled up with worship, and how can we “spur one another on to love and good deeds”?
If you enjoy the show, would you consider leaving a review in Apple podcasts? That helps other folks find the show. In the event that technology gets the best of you, an actual word of recommendation from your actual mouth is an excellent way to help as well.
This month’s prayer inspired by The Rise And Fall of Mars Hill podcast.
It is a true joy to write for you each month, and I always love to hear about shows that you watched, products you tried, and anything that stirred your heart. Simply reply to this email or leave a comment to let me know.
Until next time, hold the paradox and don’t panic. Love you.
-Steph
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